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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?